TO THE MARRIED ONES:

I have no idea how tough it is to be married. Let’s say that the ship is still on the dock. I only know what it means being a wife material- something many folks take seriously because if you unintentionally burn your food or cook it below the par, or lazily clean the house, worse still, if you get to the house after 6 pm, the wife material topic will be brought up as a subject of discussion.

Photo by Beatriz Pérez Moya on Unsplash

“Hivi ndio utapikia bwana yako? Ujue ukifukuzwa,siko na wewe.”- Is this how you will cook for your husband? Be aware that if you are kicked out, I will not be there with you.

It is here in Africa where you are either married or a wife/husband material. The months and years of preparation are usually intense. The material gets better if you can become a good homemaker, decency in speech, loving and submissive if you are a lady. If you are a dude, you’d probably need to be a provider, fearless, emotionally strong and show love to your family. After all African folks hate, embarrassment and they would not want to be shamed for your misgivings.

Back to the part where I have no idea how tough marriage is…

I have no idea what it means to lay your life for another person. I only know how to enjoy bananas with yoghurt, take walks alone, enjoy the silence of my thoughts and sing the hymn Praise The Lord as I lull myself to sleep because the cold season does not care if you are single- it will make you remember your worst school subject.

I have no idea about marriage, but I have an idea about praying for them. Sometimes we see them laughing and dressing up like the couple goals we desire, but deep down, some are walking zombies.

I pray for them because can you imagine getting a wife or husband, less the material you have been working for since you knew what relationships were all about? If you think about it, the ‘materials’ preached to us are perfectly sculpted but on the ground- things are different. The streets are rough. This is not a material that you will take back to the tailor for adjustments. It is not a car that you will leave back at your junkyard to get the new model.

I pray for my married friends because their pressures may not be like mine- you know, having to look for someone to tell Goodnight, having to fetch the blanket on my own, having to laugh at memes by myself, running across the corner of my home if I get late, reserving a table for myself ….

Married people’s pressures will range from getting home early, paying rent while the other pays water bills, fix the TV when it’s broken to prove a point, one pretending to have a headache… I’m not sure.

I pray for them because it’s not easy handling joint expectations. I can manage mine and change them as I want, because like I said, my ship hasn’t sailed yet, but for married peeps, you have to factor in the interests of your partner. It could be changing houses because the one you are living’ has a terrible colour that does not match your wife’s taste, or your children need their rooms (because they are helping out with the rent).

I pray for them because someone may be sleeping on the couch. After all, you did something stupid. I pray for them because I can and because someone needs the prayers to have the happy fulfilling marriages they seek.

Also because, most TV shows in Kenya are dedicated to teaching us on marriage do’s or dont’s, so I assumed that marriage is tough, thus the need for dedicated prayers.

#Marriage #BeInspired #StaySafe

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90’s kid. You fall, you get back up. Love is the greatest gift.

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Valerie Odhiambo

Valerie Odhiambo

90’s kid. You fall, you get back up. Love is the greatest gift.

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